


Say Something

by seungsols



Series: Red Roses, Broken Hearts [13]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up Talk, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:54:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24816427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungsols/pseuds/seungsols
Summary: Junhui didn't know Soonyoung felt conflicted.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Series: Red Roses, Broken Hearts [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/410329
Comments: 7
Kudos: 22





	Say Something

Junhui was glad he was able to leave work early to beat the rush hour traffic. There was something enjoyable about having enough room to move his arms and breathe in the subway car. It's a Thursday and he was happy that he would be off tomorrow; he could spend the whole day with his boyfriend, Soonyoung.

After getting off the second station, he checked his phone to see that Soonyoung had not responded to his messages yet. "That's strange," he thought aloud. "He'd be texting me by now…"

He slipped his phone back into his pocket and continued with his commute back to his place. After arriving to his station, he went to the nearby convenience store to grab a quick snack for him and his roommate, Jihoon. He doesn't always do this, but he's noticed Jihoon had been working hard this week to meet a deadline. Junhui figures that he could do  _ something. _

Junhui left the store with two triangle kimbaps and a litre of cola. Thankfully his apartment was two blocks down so he wouldn't seem  _ too _ peculiar on account he didn't ask for a bag. 

The evening breeze blew by and Junhui smiled. He inhaled deeply at the crisp summer air as the sun began to set and the sky was giving off a purplish-orange hue across the horizon of buildings. It was beautiful. However, the next breeze that passed Junhui felt different. It was cold, but a different kind of  _ cold _ . Junhui brushed the thought off as he entered his apartment complex.

"Oh, Soon!" Junhui blinked surprised as he saw his boyfriend on the couch in the living room. Without saying a word, Soonyoung gave a half-assed wave back while Junhui took off his shoes and headed to the kitchen with the food. "Did Jihoon let you in?"

"Yeah," Soonyoung replied lethargically. "He said he'd be right back though. Had to drop something off at the post office."

"Oh, yeah," Junhui hummed as he put the food in the fridge and grabbed two cups from his cupboard. "He's been working real hard to meet a deadline for tomorrow." He poured the cola into the two cups and walked over to the living room and placed them on two coasters on the coffee table. He sat in the loveseat adjacent to the couch Soonyoung was sitting on.

"Thanks," Soonyoung timidly said as he reached over and sipped the soda slowly. 

Junhui was taken aback by his boyfriend's actions. Not only did Soonyoung not run over to hug him when he entered, Soonyoung also loved cola and didn't do his usual perky cheers whenever he sees cola. He tries to not focus on it though. "So, why did you come over? I have tomorrow off, by the way," Junhui grinned. "I was thinking we could check that new art museum you wanted to go to—"

"Oh," Soonyoung interrupted with a cough. He placed the cup back on its coaster and looked away from Junhui as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I… actually wanted to talk."

Junhui blinked. "Oh… yeah, we can talk. Actually—about that, did you not see the messages I sent you earlier?"

"I saw them," Soonyoung nodded, eyes still averted. He kept his view of the empty cushion beside him and the rug spread across the living room in his vision. "But… yeah, I just wanted to talk." It was silent for a moment and Soonyoung twiddled his thumbs together nervously as Junhui had his attention all on Soonyoung. "I feel… conflicted…"

"Conflicted?" Junhui questioned.

"Yeah…"

"About?"

"Us," Soonyoung spoke in such a soft voice Junhui could have sworn he couldn't hear it, but it was loud enough to ring alarms and warning sounds in Junhui's head. 

Junhui furrowed his eyebrows as he scooted closer to the edge of his seat. "I… What about us?"

"I don't," Soonyoung sighed. He leaned his head back and covered his eyes with his hands. "I don't know if I can do this anymore." Junhui stayed silent. He waited for Soonyoung to speak more. The silence between them went from comfortable to almost suffocating. "I don't know if I can do  _ us _ anymore."

"I don't… understand." To say Junhui was shocked is an understatement. "Did I do something wrong? Did I say something that upset you?"

Soonyoung shook his head. "No, no. It's a me thing. I just," he sighed again, "I don't know if I love you as a boyfriend anymore." Junhui felt the lump in his throat expand and he felt the air stop flowing into his lungs. "We're friends, yeah. We started as friends. And then we started dating," Soonyoung nodded, his face still covered by his hands. He pulled them off and shoved them into the pocket of his hoodie. "And we've been dating for five years. But… I feel like my feelings for you… plateaued."

"Plateaued?" Junhui asked.

Soonyoung reiterated. "Yeah. Plateaued. I just don't know if I can love you as a boyfriend anymore."

"Why?" Junhui frowned. He felt more confused than ever. Just last week they stayed up until three in the morning having a very humorous discussion whether or not Jihoon would look better in a maid dress or a princess dress. This topic, however, was something far from humorous. 

"I told you," Soonyoung sat up but leaned his elbows on his knees and rested his forehead in the palm of his hands, "I'm conflicted."

"I don't understand. Conflicted about what?" Junhui asked again. 

"I like you as a friend, Jun." This was the first time Soonyoung ever called Junhui anything besides his usual nickname 'Junnie' for him. "I'm not sure if I like you as a boyfriend. I'm not sure if I love you to that extent. And I've felt this way for a while."

Junhui felt his heartbeat stop momentarily before it quickly plummeted to the bottom of his stomach. "So," Junhui's voice quivered. "So what? What does that make us?"

"I don't know, honestly."

There were a lot of things racing in Junhui's head. First of all, this felt very sudden. He thought that his relationship with Soonyoung was great. Sure, it had its flaws and they had their arguments, but they always managed to come out on top of them. However, it seemed that to Soonyoung, he wanted this to be their last hurdle. 

Second, Junhui was surprised to hear Soonyoung has been feeling like this for such a lengthy amount of time. Why didn't he talk to Junhui about this? Why didn't he want to discuss this earlier? 

Third, Junhui felt numb. It was the first time in a long time that he has felt this way and, honestly, he wasn't even sure what to say.

"What… why didn't we talk about this before?"

"I didn't want to start anything," Soonyoung admitted.

_ "So what is  _ **_this_ ** _ then?"  _ Junhui thought to himself. He shook his head and frowned as his eyes were still concentrated on Soonyoung. "What does this make of us?"

"I don't know," Soonyoung shook his head.

Something in Junhui clicked that started a fuse in his mind. He felt the time ticking towards the countdown as his heart beated down every second. "What do you mean  _ you don't know?" _

"I just don't, Jun."

"You," Junhui paused. He took a quick breather before he started to speak again. "You come into my apartment, wait for me, tell me you don't love me anymore, and you don't even know what to do moving forward?"

Soonyoung realizes it sounds dumb when Junhui said it aloud but he finally looked up and made eye contact with Junhui. For the first time, he saw the sadness in Junhui's eyes; eyes that usually radiated optimism and hope. "I… I don't. I… I still care and love you, but I'm not sure if it's to a friend or boyfriend extent."

"Are you just confused? You know, this happens often when people are together—platonically or romantically—that you start questioning everything because everything is comfortable. Is that why you're feeling this way?"

Soonyoung let out a sigh that was big enough to make Junhui's eye twitch in annoyance. "I'm not sure." He broke eye contact and looked down at the floor once again. "Maybe we need a break…"

"A break from what?" Junhui felt the fuse ticking faster.

"From talking? I don't know," Soonyoung rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe we should stop seeing each other? Stop talking? Limit both?"

"So what does limiting look like for us then? We send one text a day? I see you once a week?"

"No—"

"Then,  _ what _ , Soonyoung?" Junhui interrupted. "What do you want to do then?"

"I don't know!" Soonyoung threw his hands up.

The fuse ticked even faster, so much so that Junhui felt the ticking pulsating in his ears. "You can't come into my apartment, t-tell me you don't love me anymore, and expect me to have the answer." Junhui felt his chest rise and fall violently. He wasn't even able to read Soonyoung from his confusing body language. 

"Jun, I just don't know…" Sooonyoung admitted.

The switch in Junhui turned from sad and confused to upset and enraged. Now Junhui feels disrespected. Not only did Soonyoung come into  _ his _ apartment to tell him he doesn't love  _ him _ anymore, but also Soonyoung didn't have the means to justify how to move forward. 

Junhui felt disappointed. If Soonyoung was feeling this way for so long, why didn't he mention it when it first started? They've been dating for so long, he would have expected Soonyoung to  _ at least _ try to talk to him about this, regardless of how Junhui would react.

Junhui raised an eyebrow as he looked at Soonyoung shift on the couch in confusion. He shook his head and stood up from his seat. "Soonyoung, I have nothing to say to you," he declared. Soonyoung looked up from his seat and saw the serious expression on Junhui's face. "You come into my place and tell me this? Forget that we've been through far worse arguments? Forget the years we've been together?"

Soonyoung stood up. "Jun, please. I'm just tired."

"Tired?" Junhui repeated, an expression of disbelief of his face as he let out a forced chuckle. "And what about me? Did you ever consider how I feel?"

"No, Jun. I did consider it… that's why I wanted to not bring this up in the first place…"

Junhui pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt the fuse blow up in his noggin seconds ago. At this point, he wanted to have peace and quiet. He wanted Jihoon to come back and wanted Soonyoung to leave  _ his _ apartment. 

"Soon," Junhui exhaled. "You need to leave—"

"But—"

"—right now." Junhui kept his eyes closed and there was silence between them. He didn't want to open his eyes, but he heard Soonyoung walk away from him slowly and quietly as he made his way to the foyer. 

Soonyoung slipped on his shoes and zipped up his hoodie and opened the door. He had one foot out the door already when he turned to have one glance at Junhui. "Jun—"

"—We'll talk tomorrow."

"I—" Soonyoung paused and just nodded to himself. "Okay. Tomorrow."

Junhui heard the door close and he opened his eyes and saw that he was alone in his apartment. He grunted in frustration and marched over to the door to double lock it. 

His chest was still pounding, his mind was running, and his head was throbbing. However, Junhui's knees gave in and he slowly sunk down to his knees as he faced the door. He pressed his forehead against the cold wooden structure and took a deep breath. He stayed like that before he felt something drop onto his hands that were gripping his knees even tighter. He squeezed his eyes tighter, but that made the tears fall quicker.

Junhui doesn't want tomorrow to come.


End file.
